Shame [november the 8th dream] par William Henne

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I’m a child.

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My mother and I stand at the entry of a church.

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A man arrives, he’s a former boyfriend of my mother.

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We are walking in the city.

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We are entering in a parking. I approach the man that I vaguely recognize

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I am sure now that this man sexually abused me in the past. I tell him : "I recognize you, I know it is you."

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He does not answer and sits in front of the wheel of his car. My mother sits next to him, me, behind.

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On the rear seat, a newspaper, "Le Soir", is folded so that I can see an article.

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I superficially read it : it talks about a sex scandal in which the man is involved.

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We arrive in the center.

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We are walking into a shopping street. I say to my mother that his former companion raped me.

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She gets angry and forbids me to say such things.

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I flee and reach the public toilets.

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The toilets doors are locked.

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My mother and his former companion find me. She ask me to follow her.

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I notice a newspaper on a table of a coffee terrace. I take it.

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We meet again next in a traversed park of avenues. The man walks a little more far in front of my mother and me.

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I try to convince my mother that this man did me some harm.

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I speak to her as an adult. I show her the newspaper article.

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She begins doubting and ends up to speak to the man. he is ashamed and says nothing.

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I approach him. I say to him that I am not really a child, that I am in fact 37-year-old and that I came back under this appearance because I wanted "the things to said".

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He is extremely confused.

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We go back to the car. My mother is upset and the man still shameful and mute.

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I come up to the rear seat, the car door is still opened and the man comes and gives me his hand like he would beg my forgivness. I give him mine.

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He seats on the driver place. My mother is still outside.

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I ask the man in which year we are living. He says : "1974". I say : "Then I am 5-year-old."

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My mother enters in the car and seats next to me. I say : "I maybe will fall asleep and, when I’ll wake up, I will turn back to a normal little boy again."